What To Know About Breast Reduction Surgery

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, breast reduction surgery has surged, growing 64% from 2019 to 2023. Here is what you need to know about the increasingly common elective procedure.

Q: Who is a good candidate for breast reduction surgery?

A: Anyone whose breasts are medically designated as honkers.

Q: Why do women choose breast reduction surgery?

A: As a personal attack on men.

Q: Can you still breastfeed after a reduction?

A: Yes, but the milk will be 2%.

Q: What should I look for in a surgeon?

A: Anyone who's board certified and doesn't say, aw, what a shame" when you say you want it done.

Q: Can men get a breast reduction?

A: Plastic surgeons are more than happy to take money from anybody for any reason.

Q: How does a reduction affect nipple sensation?

A: Most things are more pleasurable when you're no longer drowning in your own tits.

Q: How will I be able to identify the women in my life if they choose to change their breast size?

A: You can start by familiarizing yourself with their heads and faces, many of which can be just as distinctive.

Q: What's a well-known consequence of the surgery?

A: Losing acting roles to Sydney Sweeney.

Q: Are people going to be weird about it?

A: The world is going to be really weird about your body whether you have surgery or not.

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