Assad Returns To Ophthalmology At Moscow LensCrafters

MOSCOW-Just days after rebels seized Damascus, deposed Syrian President Bashar al-Assad reportedly returned to practicing ophthalmology at a Moscow LensCrafters, sources confirmed Tuesday. Which one is better-one or two?" said the former brutal dictator who had imprisoned, tortured, and killed tens of thousands of his own people and was now standing behind a phoropter as he conducted a routine eye exam on a 26-year-old Russian graduate student. Now the good news, Ms. Komarova, is that your vision has only changed a tiny bit since your last appointment. The bad news is you do have a touch of dryness in your left eye. Eye drops can run a tad expensive, but I do have a few free samples you can try." At press time, Assad was threatening the front desk receptionist with sarin gas after she made a mistake with the scheduling software.

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