Dalai Lama Revises Claim Life Only Suffering When Not Listening To Golden-Era Supertramp

DHARAMSHALA, INDIA-The Dalai Lama announced in a press conference Monday that he has revised his position that suffering is an inevitable fact of life and that he now believes life is only suffering when one is not listening to golden-era Supertramp. I was recently lent a remastered version ofBreakfast In America, and it went down so damn smooth that it completely shifted my stance on pain and the human condition," said His Holiness, admitting that the proclamation upends the conceptual grounding of Buddhism's Four Noble Truths. Humanity can free itself from pain by throwing on Goodbye Stranger" and cranking that shit up until you feel like you're floating. Also, attachment to desire is totally okay if what you desire is the intricate musical arrangements and artful melody of Britain's best prog rock band. The real path to nirvana is through the deep cuts on disc two ofRetrospectacle: A Supertramp Anthology." The Dalai Lama went on to condemn the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for its hateful anti-Supertramp stance and encouraged his followers to sign a petition supporting the band's induction.

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