Tim Walz Calls On Fellow Democrats To Return His Tupperware

ST. PAUL, MN-Making an impassioned plea to his colleagues in an effort to inspire concrete action, Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota publicly called on his fellow Democrats Monday to return his Tupperware at once. To the esteemed members of the Democratic Party-I implore you to stand up for what's right and give back any pieces of my Tupperware you have yet to return," said the former vice presidential candidate, calling on House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, and other top Democrats to set a good example of kitchen container etiquette. For too long, this party has sat back and watched as my casserole dish goes without its corresponding lid. We as a country, as well as my famous green bean hot dish, deserve better than freezing leftovers in ziplock bags when perfectly good freezer-safe Tupperwares are going unreturned. It is therefore our duty as defenders of the Constitution to see to it that loaned out containers are properly washed and handed back to their rightful owners in a timely manner-preferably with something tasty that you made inside." At press time, Walz had urged Democratic voters to keep calling their representatives to demand his vintage Anchor Hocking dishware be returned.

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