Desensitized ‘Prairie Home Companion’ Fan Seeks Out Gentler And Gentler Material

BELMONT, MA-His tolerance pushed ever-higher from decades of listening to the folksy radio program, desensitized A Prairie Home Companion fan Ira Hawthorne told reporters Thursday that he had recently been forced to seek out gentler and gentler material.

My system's gotten so acclimated to the wry observations and Midwestern charm of the News From Lake Wobegon' that I can barely even feel it anymore," said Hawthorne, adding that years of binging mild-mannered skits like The Lives Of The Cowboys" and lighthearted tunes like the Powdermilk Biscuit Theme" had led him down a dark road of desperately chasing increasingly tame material. These days, I've got to binge a whole season of [CBC radio show] The Vinyl Cafe just to get half as sedate as one Guy Noir segment used to make me. And who knows what it'll take once I'm numb to that? I just wish I'd seen A Prairie Home Companion for what it always was: a gateway to ever more soft-spoken and homespun slices of American life."

At press time, Hawthorne's eyes had reportedly rolled back in ecstasy after he took a big hit of Marshall Dodge and Bob Bryan's Bert & I stories about Down East Maine.

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