Article 6WGQF Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100

Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100

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The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#6WGQF)

A pair of critically endangered, nearly 100-year-old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo have become first-time parents, with the arrival of the four hatchlings being a first in the zoo's more than 150-year history. What do you think?

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Should I send some leaves or something?"

Noel Zarowitz, Chief Regulator
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Great, I had just managed to stop thinking about tortoises fucking."

Patrick Bowyer, Disturbance Investigator
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You're never too old to ruin your life."

Marcy Green, Cable Bundler

The post Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100 appeared first on The Onion.

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