Coachella By The Numbers

Coachella, the annual music festival held at the Empire Polo Club in Indio, CA, has wrapped up the first of its two weekends. The Onion takes a look at the key facts and figures behind the event.

$300: For MDMA that turned out to be fucking sugar pills

4: Fresh deer carcasses specified in Lady Gaga's rider

7: Couples breaking up on the Ferris wheel right now

1,197: iPhones dropped into port-a-potties

11 p.m.: Travis Scott's bedtime

439: Times attendees incorrectly yelled Hey, it's Malcolm Gladwell!"

50%: Effort put into woo" for Benson Boone

1: Desert somehow made even more uninhabitable

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