Timeline Of Trump’s Battle With Harvard

President Donald Trump has frozen more than $3 billion in grants and contracts as his feud with Harvard University continues to escalate. The Onion shares a timeline of the dispute's key dates so far.

January 29: Trump administration accuses the Harvard Law Review of promoting violent pro-law rhetoric.

February 3: The Justice Department announces the creation of the multiagency Task Force to Own the Libs.

February 19: Trump's negative view of Harvard cemented after watching the Good Will Hunting barroom scene on Paramount+.

March 6: Trump signs an executive order declaring that the president can't be accused of antisemitism.

April 3: Harvard pressured to increase diversity of viewpoints by hiring more professors with successful AM talk radio shows

April 14: Harvard pointedly rejects the Trump administration's demands by sending his messenger back to the White House decapitated and strapped to their horse.

May 2: Harvard asserts there is no legal basis" for taking away its tax-exempt status, making it a near certainty that Trump will do so.

May 15-17: Brief respite as Trump forgets any of this happening.

May 28: Trump demands a list of all international students' names, countries, and skull measurements.

September 1, 2027: Trump awarded honorary degree in exchange for releasing Harvard president from Oval Office bird cage.

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