Frito-LayCEO Gifts Trump Gold Funyun

WASHINGTON-In a gesture many critics have decried as yet another blatant bribe to secure favorable regulatory treatment,Frito-LayCEO Steven Williams presented President Donald Trump this week with a 24-karat, solid gold Funyun. The president has long voiced his desire to own a golden, crunchy onion, and we knew it would be our privilege to make that a reality for one of the greatest dealmakers in history," said Williams to reporters as a beaming Trump proudly moved the gold Funyun sculpture to a permanent spot on the Resolute Desk. This expertly crafted artwork reflects how much we atFrito-Layrespect the president's unwavering commitment to protecting the freedoms of American snackers and snack makers alike.We hope that here, under your visionary stewardship, this Funyun will stand as a tribute to our shared commitment to bold, flavorful action." At press time,Frito-Layhas pledged to donate $26 million in Funyuns, Ruffles, Munchos, and Cool Ranch Doritos to the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library.

The post Frito-LayCEO Gifts Trump Gold Funyun appeared first on The Onion.