Trump Aides Unsure Why Spalding Making Such Generous PAC Donations

WASHINGTON-Grateful but confused by the unexpected windfall of financial support, top aides to President Donald Trump were reportedly confused Wednesday after his super PAC received a series of generous donations from the sporting goods giant Spalding. Are we doing something with basketballs? Did the president threaten to outlaw basketballs? Do we have to establish a basketball task force now?" said White House aide Jacob Walker, expressing bafflement after the prominent basketball equipment manufacturer sent several multimillion-dollar checks to Trump's campaign war chest. Spalding just gave another $4 million to MAGA Inc. out of nowhere. This seems to be a quid pro quo of some kind, but it's hard to tell what they're angling for. Is it possible they did something illegal with basketballs that they'll need a pardon for? Hard to think what that would even be. Maybe let's just have the president take a picture holding a Spalding basketball in the Oval Office and call it a day?" At press time, the aides were reportedly thrown into deeper confusion by a sudden series of generous contributions from Tachikara volleyballs.

The post Trump Aides Unsure Why Spalding Making Such Generous PAC Donations appeared first on The Onion.