Chicago ICE Raids By The Numbers

The Department of Homeland Security has been carrying out Operation Midway Blitz" since early September. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the Chicago immigration raids.

$50,000:

Sufficient incentive to treat fellow human beings this way

260:

Agents with Celtic knot tattoos

8:

Pitch sessions before they finally landed on Operation Midway Blitz"

1,759:

Yards of zip ties used on tamale vendors

6:

Agents it takes to handcuff an unarmed journalist who's already on the ground

$1,500:

Bonus for every pregnant woman detained

16:

Mexican supervillains stopped from blowing up city at very last second

?:

Number of people disappeared

3,874:

Hours of footage to be reviewed at The Hague

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