Article 73C45 Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading

Trove Of Emails About Pedophilia Reignites Nation’s Love Of Reading

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The Onion Staff
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WASHINGTON-Saying the millions of documents had restored a pleasure they lost long ago, Americans nationwide said Thursday that the recently released trove of emails connected with disgraced financier and pedophile Jeffrey Epstein had reignited their love of reading. I didn't realize how much I missed the simple joy of losing myself in words until these massive tranches of sex crime files were released," said Indianapolis resident Greta Livingston, adding that she now spends the hours she used to waste on social media curled up on the couch and completely absorbed in the lengthy communications between wealthy child predators. My imagination just carries me away when I read page after page of rich deviants asking Epstein when they could fly in for lunch on his private sex-trafficking island. And before I know it, the sun's up because I've been reading all night. I hope they release the remaining files soon, because I can't wait to find out what happens next." Livingston went on to admit that she regretted looking at a picture ofAlan Dershowitz because of how different he appeared there than in the fantasy world of her imagination.

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