Article 75D4V Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground

Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground

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The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#75D4V)
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DANIA BEACH, FL-Reversing its company-wide shutdown after the sudden influx of capital, Spirit Airlines resumed business Monday after its CEO Dave Davis reportedly found a nickel on the ground. This incredible new funding source will allow Spirit to continue operating for years, even decades," said Davis, noting that the serendipitous surge in resources would give the airline more than enough liquidity to provide the service customers have come to expect. I am confident this will provide a much-needed cushion until we can establish a more stable financial footing by finding a dime or, hopefully, a quarter on the street in the next fiscal year." Davis went on to announce that he would be receiving a salary bonus of three cents.

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