Article 760R0 Everything We Know About ‘The Odyssey’ So Far

Everything We Know About ‘The Odyssey’ So Far

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The Onion Staff
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The Odyssey, director Christopher Nolan's first film since Oppenheimer, is coming to theaters July 17. Here is everything we know about the highly anticipated blockbuster so far.

Stars returning include Nolan favorites Matt Damon, Anne Hathaway, Chris Rock, Kevin James, and Rob Schneider

Maintains strict historical accuracy by having a character state It smells terrible in here" every few lines in the script

Favoring practical effects over heavy CGI, Nolan insisted on using real gods and goddesses

Brand integration forces Odysseus to take Carnival Cruise ship home

Already marketed as 2027 Best Picture Winner"

Exposition about the nonlinear plot will be shoehorned into a nine-minute Charybdis monologue

Tom Holland plays Percy Jackson

Rumored to be not as good as the original oral tradition

Production was delayed by three days after a craft services mix-up resulted in 12 PAs turning into pigs

Best viewed in an IMAX theater using special CyclopsVision glasses

Antinous uses a Motorola Razr to really piss off the nerds

No minions

Nolan was inspired to make a film about a torturous, unending journey after a lengthy chat with one of his fans

Film's runtime should allow it to knock out a good three or four periods of English class

You'll never relive the magic of Barbenheimer, so don't even bother trying

The post Everything We Know About The Odyssey' So Far appeared first on The Onion.

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