Article 76VDF Yak Hopes They Never Stop Making Grass

Yak Hopes They Never Stop Making Grass

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The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#76VDF)
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BAGLUNG, NEPAL-Claiming he could eat the stuff every day and still not get tired of it, local yak Henry Cunningham expressed his sincere hope Tuesday that they never stop making grass.Man, after a long day on the plateau, nothing hits the spot like a big mouthful of grass," said Cunningham, adding that just thinking about grass's unbeatable taste and satisfying texture was making his mouth water. I love getting up in the morning to fill my tank with that first perfect helping of the ol' grassoline.' I could finish a whole damn field myself, if I wasn't careful. Family's the same way-we're real grass fanatics around here. Now shrubs you can keep. Never did scratch the itch for me, personally. But some grass, maybe a little dew on it, some kind of herb on the side? Brother, good night. That's living. Hell, I might like it better than rutting."At press time, witnesses overheard Cunningham let out a quiet hell yeah" after discovering he had a big patch of grass left over from lunch.

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