Article 76X2K Italy Issues Travel Ban On Italian Americans

Italy Issues Travel Ban On Italian Americans

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The Onion Staff
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ROME-Calling the emergency order a direct response to an imminent national threat," Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni issued a travel ban Wednesday restricting the entry of Italian Americans into the country.Effective immediately, the Italian Republic will no longer allow Italian Americans who believe themselves to be our paisanos' to set foot on our land," Meloni said of the blanket policy passed unanimously by Parliament, which would close the European state's borders to any U.S. resident claiming to have as little as one-eighth Italian blood." We have tried to negotiate with them, but they refuse to acknowledge that their 100% Italian' T-shirts mean nothing if they do not live here or speak the language. Therefore, we had no choice but to bar all second-generation grandchildren with nonnas from Abruzzo, as well as nullify all visas previously issued to travelers with Sicilian heritage who become angry when people call them Italian."Meloni's order requires that any Italian American who tries to gain entry to the country be diverted to Ireland, Poland, or wherever the other side of their family is from.

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