Latest Musk merch drop runs entirely on child labor

Tesla's latest vehicle has two wheels, no motor, and a target market still mastering walking: the $225 Balance Bike for Kids. The contraption, designed for children aged two to five, "features a lightweight magnesium frame, adjustable seat and futuristic design," and can handle up to 35 kg. The price tag puts it at the higher end of such devices. Cycling Weekly recommends the Hornit Airo at 139, although there are plenty of alternatives aimed at introducing children to two wheels. Although a manually powered bicycle might be a surprising choice for Tesla, a company that made its name selling electric cars, there is some historical precedent - Morris and Triumph, for example, both began in the bicycle trade. Still, a Tesla fan and their money are soon parted. The company says preorders open on July 31, although only existing Tesla vehicle owners are eligible to buy one. The determined can already find units on auction sites. We spotted one on eBay that would set a buyer back a cool $1,200 plus shipping from the US - quite a premium for a toddler to learn how to use a bike. Then again, another Musk venture persuaded fans to queue up for a $500 "flamethrower" that was really a glorified blowtorch, so perhaps a four-figure toddler bike isn't such a hard sell. In this case, lessons learned about balance might prove useful when it comes to landing a Starship on the lunar surface or training the Tesla Optimus robot, which took an embarrassing tumble at a Miami event last year. It is also worth wondering just how old those kiddies, about to receive their Tesla Balance Bikes, will be when SpaceX finally manages to land a crew in a Starship on the Moon. (R)