Bestselling Beach Reads

Bestselling Beach Reads

The Onion selects the best books to take on vacation this year.

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Explore the list in detail

Stratosphere

By Candice Ortiz-Schnapp

What's it like being married to an astronaut? Probably more intense than the life of protagonist Molly, whose husband flies a regional jet. Still, she gets up to some stuff.

The Really Important File

By Nicholas Brewer

A humble government employee is just doing his job when he notices something out of the ordinary: a really important file. The new heart-pounding spy thriller from genre master Nicholas Brewer will have readers asking themselves: What's he gonna do with that file?

The Mulchers

By Celine Ives

Life is quiet on 32-year-old Cara Perry's northern Michigan mulch farm-that is, until a handsome but enigmatic competitor buys the plot of land next door. Will these star-crossed farmers overcome their opposing views on the merits of using chromated copper arsenate?

The Lady In The Airplane Bathroom

By R.R. Blake

An alcoholic divorcee swears she saw a woman murdered in the airplane bathroom, but no one believes her because she ordered 13 gin and tonics before it happened.

The Shape Of Resilience

By Isabella Park

Follow the heartwarming journey of Randi, a single mother who overcomes emotional abuse, addiction, poverty, a very large earthquake, big tobacco, accidentally falling into a fairly deep sinkhole, her fear of missing out, some bad acne, and a backstabbing pet dog.

My Boyfriend The Vampire Or Pirate

By Laila McDowd

Shy librarian Maggie Lopez discovers that her fiance is secretly a blood-sucking immortal, or a sexy maritime plunderer if that's hotter for you, in this deeply confusing but arousing novel.

The Gun Directive

By Brock Rock

In the 23rd installment of Rock's celebrated Agent Violence series, the stakes are higher, the guns are louder, and the conspiracies are the most conspiratorial yet.

American Red Cross Lifeguarding Manual

By American Red Cross

Probably should've cracked this book before you climbed into that tall chair, but better late than never.

My Brother The Lover

By Sophie Taylor

She's newly divorced. Her sexy new neighbor is single. The only problem? They're siblings. Sophie Taylor's latest romance is perfect for fans of coastal settings, family drama, and incest.

Bridget Jones's Obituary

By Helen Fielding

Follow an aging Bridget Jones as she navigates work, love, and getting hit by a car.

Dev Patel And Dakota Fanning Fall In Love

By Emily Henry

Try to fuck up the casting on this one, movie studios.

Fwd: Re: Urgent: Tuesday's Presentation

By Scott Jones

Looks like your out-of-office day is ruined now.

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