Article 78BWA Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight

Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight

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The Onion Staff
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LOS ANGELES-Emphasizing that late entries would not be tolerated, producers for the 78th Primetime Emmy Awards issued a statement Sunday warning aging stars that the deadline to be included in this year's In Memoriam" segment was midnight. Our In Memoriam' slideshow is almost complete, so if any Television Academy members are at death's door, please note this is your last chance to be included," said Emmys producer Jesse Collins in a statement noting that aging and ailing members should get on it" and die before 12 a.m. PST if they didn't want to wait an entire calendar year to be memorialized. If you're in your 80s or 90s, this is yourlastcall to be included in this year's heart-wrenching montage set to Dolly Parton's I Will Always Love You,' and we cannot guarantee your inclusion in next year's segment. Availability is always subject to how many heavy hitters the Television Academy loses. If you're a casting agent or mid-level producer, I urge you: Don't risk it. Go into cardiac arrest sooner rather than later." At press time, Emmys producers had released a follow-up statement soliciting one more death from a beloved actor to perfect the montage's timing.

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