Drunk Van Halen fan called Microsoft support and demanded to speak to Gates

Some support calls become memorable because of the technical problem. Others stick in the mind because the caller has apparently consumed an adult beverage or three before demanding to speak to the boss. Microsoft veteran Raymond Chen has shared one from the latter category. His tale comes from a now-retired colleague who once staffed Microsoft's FrontPage support line. The caller was building a Van Halen fan site using FrontPage, and it wasn't going well. A Java applet was supposed to play music, but the caller could not make it work. FrontPage began life in 1995 at Vermeer Technologies, which Microsoft soon acquired. Redmond released its own version in 1996 and kept the HTML editor alive through FrontPage 2003. Mainstream support ended in 2009 and extended support in 2014. The name "FrontPage" will likely make administrators and developers who remember it shudder. It relied on proprietary FrontPage Server Extensions for Microsoft's Internet Information Services (IIS). The remains lingered remarkably long. In 2025, Microsoft finally moved to block the FrontPage Remote Procedure Call (RPC) protocol. At the time of the call, however, FrontPage was alive and well - as, for that matter, was Van Halen. The faulty Java applet wasn't a FrontPage problem - the editor and the sites it produced had enough of their own - but Chen's colleague tried to help anyway. "But man, was this person lit." "The sound of ice clinking in a glass was readily apparent, and as the call went on, the customer got more and more drunk," Chen wrote. The increasingly frustrated customer eventually shouted: "You're not even a real f-ing fan of Van Halen!" Chen's colleague warned that any more swearing would end the call. The demon drink had apparently overridden whatever restraint remained: "F- you! I wanna talk to Gates!" A sentiment many a Windows user has shared as the screen abruptly turned a data-losing shade of blue. Chen does not know what happened next, but wondered whether the caller was transferred to Microsoft's special line for customers demanding an audience with His Billness. Operators answered as Gates's office, took down the complaint, and passed it back to support for a suitably prestigious follow-up. Whether the Java applet ever worked is also lost to history. Perhaps that was for the best: the web already had enough auto-playing music, and for every crowd-pleasing Van Halen track there was a "How Many Say I" - or even that surreal rendition of "Happy Trails." Ever had a similar problem? Tell us in the comments below. (R)