All hail the Kult of Kemi – captain, coach and owner of the Conservatives | John Crace

The Tory leader is now too big for the party to allow her to fail, so everything she does is acclaimed a work of genius

Where's AI slop when you need it? It could all have been so much simpler. Just ask ChatGPT to write me a leader's speech in the style of Kemi Badenoch. Make it an hour and 10 minutes long, so plenty of room for padding. Go heavy on the slogans, cliches and the obligatory crap politician jokes. Ones we've all heard many times before. Not least at this conference.

Make the usual digs at Labour and put the boot in to Reform. The main aim of the speech is to try to reposition a party that is tanking in third place on 20% in the polls as the main opposition to the government.