Article 7968F AOC Tidies Up In Case Federal Agents Stop By For Raid

AOC Tidies Up In Case Federal Agents Stop By For Raid

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The Onion Staff
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NEW YORK-Frantically fluffing pillows and folding blankets in preparation for unannounced visitors, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was spotted tidying up her apartment this week in case federal agents stopped by for a raid. You never know when you're going to have sudden company come breaking down your door, and I don't want anyone to think I live in a total sty when they're emptying out my drawers and cabinets," said Ocasio-Cortez, who remarked that it would be embarrassing if an FBI task force came and seized a bunch of dirty clothes that were strewn about on her bedroom floor. I know it might seem like I'm putting on airs, but the threat of an unannounced search of my home is a great excuse to do a deep clean. It's just common courtesy to have everything neatly put away in case guests need to find some documents or passports to confiscate when they come over." Ocasio-Cortez added that she was being extra hospitable by putting some Spindrifts in the fridge in case investigators wanted to expropriate something other than just tap water.

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