The Torch Has Been Passed
A thoroughly pissed-off Gen. George Washington to British Lt. General Thomas Gage (Aug. 19, 1775):
I have taken Time, Sir, to make a strict Inquiry, and find it has not the least Foundation in Truth. Not only your Officers, and Soldiers have been treated with a Tenderness due to Fellow Citizens, & Brethren; but even those execrable Parricides [traitors] whose Counsels & Aid have deluged their Country with Blood, have been protected from the Fury of a justly enraged People.
Gen. George Washington to the Hartford Committee of Safety, on how to treat an irritating enemy prisoner (Sept. 26, 1775):
[A]llow me to recommend a Gentleness, even to Forbearance, with Persons so intirely in our Power. We know not what the Chance of War may be-but let it be what it will the Duties of Humanity and Kindness will demand from us such a Treatment as we Should expect from others the Case being reversed.
Jeb Bush to an audience in Iowa (Aug. 13, 2015):
I do think, in general, that torture is not appropriate.
Zombie Gen. George Washington, upon being told that this statement is what passes for the moral high ground these days:
I must confess, Sir, that I am perplext and confounded by your Suggestion that the Republic we forged from our united Colonies and the combined Virtue of its People has so declined, that such a Missive regarding the barbarous Usage of Prisoners should be viewed as Improvement, and not a shameful and Retrograde Action. Once I looked to the Future of the young Nation with Hope, but with this Rev'lation I now wish only to eat your Brains.
Zombie Ben Franklin:
They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve to have their brains eaten. Rarrwwrarrrrr!
Zombie Governeur Morris:
Rarrwwrarrrrr.
All Other Zombie Founding Fathers:
Related StoriesRarrwwrarrrwarrararrrawarrrr!!