Assorted Stupidity #84
- Guess who's back in the news! If you didn't guess Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-bop-bop, you guessed wrong. See also "I'll See Your Zoppitybop-bop-bop and Raise You One Peace Baba Aquarius" (Jan. 20, 2012).
- "The use of the stun cuff was objectively unreasonable under the circumstances," admitted a former Maryland judge who put 50,000 volts through a criminal defendant who wouldn't shut up. The former judge pleaded guilty to a civil rights violation and is now a former judge. Excuse me, but since when is it illegal to torture detainees in this country? "Force may not be used in the absence of danger," some U.S. attorney who apparently hates America was quoted as saying.
- The same former judge was suspended in 2010 after he pleaded guilty to slashing the tires of a cleaning woman's car after she parked in his space. But he was reinstated after just five days, I assume on the grounds that it was surely a one-time lapse in judgment.
- You know, there's nothing illegal about carrying around a bag containing passports, offshore-account records, a foreign citizenship application, and several bulletproof vests. Of course, if you get caught with that bag the day before you're supposed to report for a six-year prison sentence, everybody's going to jump to conclusions. That's just the reality of it.
- Although South Carolina lawmakers "readily concede they can point to not a single example" of a court enforcing Sharia law in that state, that doesn't mean they aren't willing to pretend to be really worried about that possibly happening someday. Not quite as obviously unconstitutional as the Louisiana debate over whether to make the Bible the official state Book, but close.
- Memorize this sentence: "You can't tell me someone [his/her] age has never seen a picture of a ______ on the internet." Now use that sentence if you and/or your client are ever charged with sending a picture of a ______ to someone of the relevant age. It isn't easy to define "pornography," I think the the saying goes, but you know it when you see it or if you saw it on the internet before I showed it to you then it wasn't that by then.
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