Assorted Stupidity #95
Over the last couple of weeks I've had to devote a ridiculous amount of time to actual legal work, but having now squeezed out one final ginormous project, I am now officially on sabbatical from that. The number of posts will now increase, for which I apologize in advance. To begin with, here are these items:
- Another candidate for the Comical Case Names page is People v. Black in Color Leather Vest With Attached Outlaws Motorcycle Club Patches, No. 2-15-0495 (Ill. App. Ct. Feb. 23, 2016). After four of the Outlaws pleaded guilty to beating up patrons of the Lizard Lounge, the State sought forfeiture of the vests on the grounds they had been used "directly or indirectly to facilitate street-gang activity." The Outlaws opposed (on behalf of their vests), but the court held that the vest/patch combination "facilitated" the activity because it was used to intimidate others.
- Coincidentally, that took place not far from McHenry, Illinois, a town that appeared here way back in 2006 after it banned the use of costumed business mascots such as "Mattress Man," and also turned out to have a remarkably comprehensive definition of "buttocks" in its city code.
- FYI, most bar associations have some sort of arbitration program to help settle disputes between clients and their (usually former) lawyers, or of course you can sue the lawyer for malpractice. Those aren't always great options, but if the only other one that comes to mind is kidnapping the lawyer and dousing him in gasoline so he would "understand what [you're] going through," you might at least try arbitration. (Bonus points: the lawyer had gotten him a $450,000 settlement, but that apparently was not enough.)
- To his great disappointment, Gylve Nagell was elected to the town council in Kolbotn, Norway, despite-or more likely because of-a campaign that asked voters not to do that. Nagell, better known as Fenriz, founding member of the black-metal band Darkthrone (formerly Black Death), said he had reluctantly agreed to run when the Liberal Party asked him to, "thinking I would be like 18th on the [ballot] and I wouldn't really have to do anything." Apparently concerned he might win anyway, Fenriz later put up posters featuring himself and his cat, asking not to be elected. Of course he won. "I'm not too pleased about it," he reiterated.
- Is it a bank robbery if you don't intend to get away with it? Well, in Kansas robbery is "knowingly taking property from the person or presence of another by force or threat of bodily harm," suggesting the answer could be yes. Which means Lawrence John Ripple may get his wish to go to jail for the robbery he sort of committed earlier this month. He gave a threatening note to a teller, received about $3,000, and then sat in the lobby to wait for police. He reportedly told investigators that he and his wife had argued and that he now preferred jail to living with her. Doesn't really seem to be any point in prosecuting him, to be honest.
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