It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!

Discoursing Descartes with my robotic pet

Something for the Weekend, Sir? I have awoken to the sounds of electronic growling. Making my way downstairs, I discover teethmarks in the bannister, a pool of oil by the back door and the remains of a torn-open jumbo box of AA longlifes in the kitchen."