Sea of Thieves makes a weak, meandering first impression

Enlarge / High boredom on the high seas. (credit: Rare)
Sea of Thieves leaves a bewildering first impression, a magnificent second one, and, so far, a disappointing lasting taste. The piratical goof-'em-up does almost nothing to explain itself, and much of the game's joy is in discovering how to navigate and progress through its multiplayer pond. The problem is, once you learn the basics, you just as quickly find Sea of Thieves provides very little in the way of interesting goals and tasks to perform.This goes beyond a lack of content to a more basic dearth of interactivity. The very first seconds of your buccaneer career are marred with strange, artificial limitations that continue to pockmark the rest of the game. In a game where progression is largely about unlocking cosmetics, for instance, you're not allowed to customize your own character. Sea of Thieves simply boots up a load of randomly generated avatars that you can re-roll as many times as you like before making your final choice.
After loading a scallywag not quite to my liking, I was greeted by 20 seconds of on-screen text, the game's limited excuse for a tutorial. That text explained how to access my inventory, where to pick up quests, and... that's about it. Essentials like the finer points of sailing control and just how the quest system works are blank spaces that have to be filled in by the player (or the players, if you're playing with friends or strangers, as you really should).
Open eyes, open oceanAfter some solo bumbling on my boat, trying to figure out just how to make it go, I intuited that the sails were likely roped to whatever control mechanism Sea of Thieves provided. Sure enough: I traced those rope lines between mast and bulkhead to find the "controls." From there, it was mostly smooth, entirely enjoyable sailing.
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