Article 3N5CY Mom Makes Sure Everyone Has Masturbated Before Long Car Ride

Mom Makes Sure Everyone Has Masturbated Before Long Car Ride

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#3N5CY)
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LANARK, IL-Adamant that there would be no unplanned pit stops until her family had reached its destination, local mom Mary Curran reportedly made sure that each of her teenage sons had masturbated to completion Thursday before a long car ride to their grandparents' house. "It's going to be three hours-maybe more with"

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