Article 3QPV3 Desperate Starbucks Now Pleading For People To Masturbate, Use Drugs In Its Restrooms

Desperate Starbucks Now Pleading For People To Masturbate, Use Drugs In Its Restrooms

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The Onion
from The Onion on (#3QPV3)
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SEATTLE, WA-In an effort to restore the company's battered image in the wake of recent controversies, desperate Starbucks officials openly begged Monday for people to masturbate and use drugs in the coffee shop chain's restrooms. "Please, just come in and do whatever the hell you want in the bathroom-feel free to"

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