Article 40N3D ‘The Convergence Is At Hand,’ Announces Sears CEO As Employees Report To Company Headquarters In White Gowns

‘The Convergence Is At Hand,’ Announces Sears CEO As Employees Report To Company Headquarters In White Gowns

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The Onion
from The Onion on (#40N3D)
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HOFFMAN ESTATES, IL-As the department store chain prepared to file for bankruptcy and close its retail locations, Sears CEO Eddie Lampert reportedly announced "The convergence is at hand" Thursday as all Sears employees, clad in white gowns, reported to company headquarters. "Brothers and sisters of Sears, I beseech"

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