Article 4A0RM Teen’s Natural Drive To Murder Sexual Rivals Successfully Channeled Into ‘Super Smash Bros.’ Victory

Teen’s Natural Drive To Murder Sexual Rivals Successfully Channeled Into ‘Super Smash Bros.’ Victory

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#4A0RM)
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ROCKFORD, MD-Instinctively exerting his dominance over other potential suitors through aggression and cunning, local teen Tyler Daigle successfully channeled his natural drive to murder sexual rivals into a victory at Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, sources confirmed Wednesday. "Ah, gotcha! Dude, you totally suck at"

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