Article 4G3QC Panicked Oyster Praying That Lump It Feels Forming Only A Pearl

Panicked Oyster Praying That Lump It Feels Forming Only A Pearl

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The Onion on Local, shared by The Onion to The Oni
from The Onion on (#4G3QC)
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PORTLAND, ME-Reassuring herself that the lump she felt forming between her fleshy mantle and hard outer shell was almost certainly not worth panicking over, a Pemaquid oyster prayed fervently Wednesday that the growth was merely a pearl. "I'm sure this is nothing, but I don't remember noticing it until the other day,"

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