Blackburn ain't big enough for the both of us: Mr Creamy and Mr Whippy at the centre of new ice-cream war

Don't worry, it's rather more vanilla than Glasgow in the '80s

Behold, the Great British summer. Lawnmowers, jet engines and the faint tinkling of "Yankee Doodle" on the breeze. Drugs? Frozen treats? Either way, the pitter-patter of tiny feet follows."