It's so hot, UK needs to start naming heatwaves like we do when it's a bit windy – climate boffins

FREE INSIDE: Your obscure keep-cool protips

The mercury is rising, expected to hit a sizzling 32C (89.6F) this afternoon at Vulture Central, and The Register's elite unit of pasty basement-dwellers, otherwise known as editorial, have scurried into the office to make the most of its semi-functioning air conditioning."