Article 523KP Desperate Red Cross Introduces New High-Powered Arm Juicer To Get Every Last Drop Out Of Donors

Desperate Red Cross Introduces New High-Powered Arm Juicer To Get Every Last Drop Out Of Donors

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The Onion
from The Onion on (#523KP)
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WASHINGTON-Calling the machine a "potential breakthrough" in the nonprofit's fight against the coronavirus pandemic, a desperate American Red Cross introduced a new high-powered arm juicer Monday designed to get every last drop of blood out of donors. "We've been struggling to find healthy donors, so this machine is a"

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