Nokia's reboot of the 5310 is a blissfully dumb phone that will lug some mp3s about just fine

No Wi-Fi, no newsfeeds - just you, 2G, and your awful music taste

The Nokia 5310 XpressMusic was the primary tormentor of late-2000s commuters*. With a powerful built-in speaker and room for a micro SD card, shellsuit-sporting hoodlums could serenade weary bus-goers with the latest computer-generated noise from the Ministry of Sound....