Half a million stolen French medical records, drowned in feeble excuses

A bitter pill best swallowed with eight gallons of swimming pool water

Something for the Weekend, Sir? Those files I promised you? Oh, I'm sorry, they accidentally got taken out with the recycling. A gull swooped down and snatched them out of my hands. They were lost in a tsunami. No, a forest fire. An earthquake. Actually, to tell the truth, my mum put them in the washing machine....