How we stay together: ‘You’ve got to either take space or give space’

Metaphorically and literally, Clive and Mary have spent their almost four decades together learning to speak each other's language

Names: Clive Smallman and Mary Haropoulou
Years together: 38
Occupations: academics

Clive Smallman and Mary Harapoulou were polar opposites when they first got together, they say. He was an agnostic Englishman while she was religious and Greek. Now, after almost 40 years together, while many differences remain, some things have shifted. Mary recalls the Greek proverb about adding a drop of water to wine. It means that you dilute the feelings a little," she explains. You don't harass, [demanding] I want to do this or that'. You find the common ground."