Lotus 1-2-3 and arbitrary terminal sizes

Using Lotus 1-2-3 in today's world is a bit of a challenge.

The truth is I'm cheating, it does work, but it only supports a few standard text mode resolutions. If your terminal is not exactly 80 columns wide, it just makes a big ugly mess on your screen.

There's a workaround, just type stty cols 80, and it will be confined to a portion of your terminal, looking a bit sad. There is no way to display more columns, and maximizing your terminal will do nothing.

...or is there?

After a lot of research, reverse-engineering, and hard work, Tavis Ormandy managed to get Lotus 1-2-3 to respect any arbitrary terminal size. Bonkers work.