China Reduced To Barren Wasteland After Exporting Every Last Object

SHENZHEN, CHINA-Wandering nude among the hollowed-out foundations where apartment buildings and factories once stood, Chinese citizens reported Friday that their nation had been reduced to a barren wasteland after exporting every last physical object in the country. We turned quite the profit after we sold our car, clothes, furniture, and house-which was shipped as a prefab to Brazil-but unfortunately we don't have anything left to spend our money on," said engineer-turned-itinerant-vagrant Gao Jianhong, who continued shaping a dirt pile into a crude couch after loading the last of his pots and pans into a shipping container headed across the Pacific. The grass was stripped for feed, the mountains have been leveled flat for rock and minerals, and I haven't seen a tree in six years. But we do still have some old broken chunks of concrete and a bunch of dust. Does Europe want to buy some very affordable dust?" According to sources, several large Chinese conglomerates are in the process of slashing the export price on a massive unused surplus of 1.4 billion humans.

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