Pros And Cons Of Reparations

Slavery reparations bill H.R. 40, named after the unfulfilled Civil War promise of 40 acres and a mule," has been introduced in every congressional session since 1989.The Onionexamines the pros and cons of reparations for Black Americans.

PRO: Get to watch some poor sucker decide who's included and who's not.

CON: Whole point of slavery is not having to pay people.

PRO: Would do wonders for the white guilt epidemic.

CON: Have to import a lot of mules.

PRO: Small price to pay to permanently end all racial tension in America forever.

CON: Incentivizes other groups to be enslaved for a few centuries and then cash out 150 years after they're emancipated.

PRO: Welfare queen" stereotype would be replaced with much much cooler reparations tzar."

CON: Nowhere in the Constitution does it say the government has the power to spend money.

PRO: Would really rock local opinion pages' worlds.

CON: Too difficult to implement in a nation that no longer sees color.

The post Pros And Cons Of Reparations appeared first on The Onion.