How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters

Recent polls show support for former President Donald Trump is falling among women voters. Here are some of the strategies Trump and his campaign staff are using to try to win women back before November.

Promising to declutter their rights:Women will embrace the opportunity to simplify their lives by having fewer choices.
Providing empowering female representation:To show his commitment to women's issues, Trump has used recent rallies to showcase his powerful female allies, including Sen. Katie Britt of Alaska, a cardboard cutout of Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen, and Mrs. Met.
Seven minutes in heaven with Eric Trump:To give America's heartthrob his first kiss, the Trump campaign is giving a special opportunity to women who have had Eric's photo taped inside their locker for decades.
Stickers:Women love stickers.
Texting them photos of them sleeping:He knows how to show he cares.
Recording Taylor Swift'sReputation:While Trump may not have quite the same vocal range as the artist, at least his version of Getaway Car" isn't owned by Scooter Braun.
Mandatory IVF:Every woman deserves the opportunity to become a baby factory.
Keeping J.D. Vance in Washington:A Trump-Vance win is four years of knowing the freak's location at all times.
Terry, the Talking Tampon:Women whose brains have been poisoned by the liberal media might not want to listen to Donald Trump, but they'll definitely listen to Terry, the Talking Tampon.
Seductively brushing back hair to reveal bullet scar:No one can resist a bad boy.
Sugar cubes:Campaign officials have announced plans to get skittish women voters to approach them by calmly holding out sugar cubes in their flattened palms.
Internalized misogyny:Not tapping into this abundant resource would only be foolish.

The post How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters appeared first on The Onion.