Pros And Cons Of Making Election Day A Federal Holiday

As designated by Congress in 1845, election day falls on the first Tuesday following the first Monday of November every year. The Onion examines the pros and cons of making election day a federal holiday.

PRO: Won't have to waste PTO on stealing an election

CON: Spending three hours in line even worse if it's a holiday

PRO: Gives everyone a chance to exercise their right to play NBA Jam

CON: Was planning to go to the bank that day

PRO: Perfect opportunity to stay home and stress-eat the rest of your Halloween candy

CON: Brings the government into our elections

PRO: I mean, they have to give us Monday off too, right? You can't just leave Monday in the middle like that.

CON: Can't start acting like voting matters this late in the democracy game

PRO: Would teach children value of staying glued to cable news coverage for nine hours straight

CON: Voting gives workers a dangerous sense of control over lives

The post Pros And Cons Of Making Election Day A Federal Holiday appeared first on The Onion.