Best Picture Winner ‘Kissing The Martinet’ Faces Backlash After Fans Learn Movie Not Real

LOS ANGELES-In a development that cast a shadow over the 97th Academy Awards, the filmmakers behind Best Picture winner Kissing The Martinet reportedly faced backlash Monday after fans learned the movie did not exist. I can't believe Kissing The Martinet, my favorite movie of 2024, is not a real movie," said film critic Alexander Van Wyk, who described the feeling of betrayal he was left with after learning he did not watch the movie because it had never been made. There should be some sort of safeguard implemented next year to ensure the films we're pretending to have seen really exist. Next you're gonna tell me that my favorite film of all time, The Swan's Mistress, isn't real either. God, I wish I could take back the zero minutes of my life I wasted sitting through that one." At press time, Van Wyk admitted that he still thought the scene he imagined in which a lady named something like Melonia DuMont kissed the martinet was very well done.

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