Labour tries to seem in control while The Donald unleashes chaos on the world | John Crace

Underneath the measured words you could almost smell the panic as the government scrambled to come up with a plan to respond to Trump's tariffs

With characteristic humility and good grace ... Hardly.

Shortly after 9pm UK time on Wednesday, The Sun-Bed King made his way to the White House Rose Garden, looking every bit the dishonest bookie as he held up a board with every country's separate tariff. He might as well have been signposting the odds on a global recession.