Tariff-Strained Apple Announces 7,083-Piece iPhone Kit

CUPERTINO, CA-Amidst the strain of tariffs, Apple CEO Tim Cook announced Thursday the launch of a new 7,083-piece iPhone kit. Apple customers will have a blast soldering, polishing, and drilling as they build their very own iPhone," Cook said in a Keynote presentation at Apple headquarters, touting the new product as an innovative, first-of-its-kind achievement and noting that the tech giant's competitors were already scrambling to offer similar build-your-own products of their own. Based on your level of manufacturing experience, it should take anywhere between one and four days to assemble, not counting any bathroom or sleep breaks. It's the perfect family activity. Kids love it! It even comes with a free rock you can use to mine your own lithium." At press time, Cook confirmed the kit was exclusively available to U.S. customers.

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