Article 70FGP RFK Jr. Advocates Using Beef Tallow In Home Birth Tubs

RFK Jr. Advocates Using Beef Tallow In Home Birth Tubs

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The Onion Staff
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WASHINGTON-Touting the substance's anti-inflammatory properties and high smoke point, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. released a statement Thursday advocating for the use of beef tallow in home birth tubs.Despite what the perpetrators of the medical-industrial complex would like you to believe, women have been giving birth in rendered animal fat for millennia," said Kennedy, who argued that beef tallow lubricates the birth canal while slathering the infant in all the triglycerides the newborn will need to stave off autism. There's nothing more beautiful or natural than a mother and her baby slip-sliding around a birthing pool filled with greasy, organic animal by-product. So-called medical professionals insist that babies should be born in water or, worse, a hospital, but pure beef tallow is the way to go. Sure, tallow will go rancid faster than seed oils, but that just encourages Mom to push harder."Later in the day, Kennedy tweeted his congratulations to a woman in Missouri who went viral after giving birth in the grease trap behind a local Steak 'n Shake.

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