Artist Profile: Zach Bryan

With 112,408 fans attending his show Saturday at Michigan Stadium, country star Zach Bryan set a new national record for the largest ticketed concert crowd. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.
Hometown: You Don't Want To Know The History Of This Place, Oklahoma
Instrument: Sleeveless guitar
Vocal Style: Dehydrated
Biggest Hit: That Cloud Looks Like A Lady"
Fan Base: Hungover people driving to church
Reason He Joined Navy: Discounted phone plan
Plastic Surgery: Buccal fat addition
Culpability For Rapid Bleaching Of Great Barrier Reef: Minimal
Military Rank Achieved: Level 6 Bard
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