Artist Profile: Zach Bryan

With 112,408 fans attending his show Saturday at Michigan Stadium, country star Zach Bryan set a new national record for the largest ticketed concert crowd. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist.

Hometown: You Don't Want To Know The History Of This Place, Oklahoma

Instrument: Sleeveless guitar

Vocal Style: Dehydrated

Biggest Hit: That Cloud Looks Like A Lady"

Fan Base: Hungover people driving to church

Reason He Joined Navy: Discounted phone plan

Plastic Surgery: Buccal fat addition

Culpability For Rapid Bleaching Of Great Barrier Reef: Minimal

Military Rank Achieved: Level 6 Bard

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