ShamWow Guy Running For Congress

by
The Onion Staff
from The Onion on (#71R91)

Vince Offer, the once-prominent infomercial pitchman better known as the ShamWow guy," has filed to run as a Republican in Texas's 31st congressional district, claiming he wants to destroy wokeism" in Congress and make America happy." What do you think?

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How absorbent are his opponent's towels?"

Mario Lobo, Replica Appraiser
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He'll poll well with the sizable bloc of voters who are overwhelmed by spills."

Penny Norfolk, Doll Clothier
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Anyone with a proven track record of battering women has my vote."

Troy Powell, Cellophane Expert

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