Panicked xAI Technicians Frantically Throw Levers To Find The One Controlling Grok’s Pedophilia

PALO ALTO, CA-Shouting over the sound of the alarm as it blared through the headquarters of Elon Musk's artificial intelligence startup, panicked xAI technicians were reportedly throwing levers Monday in a frantic effort to find the one controlling Grok's pedophilia. Come on, everybody, it's got to be here!" said xAI engineer Matthew Fedorov, who ran down a row of flashing control panels as he searched for the lever that would stop the AI-powered chatbot from creating sexualized images of minors. No, not that one. That's just making it talk like a pirate. It's still expressing a sexual interest in children, though. No, not the MechaHitler one either. Wait, I think I found it, but it's stuck! Someone get over here and help me pull!" At press time, sources confirmed horrified employees were slowly backing away after they had accidentally broken off Grok's pedophilia lever while the controls were set to serial-predator mode.

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